


peter.

by CyrusBreeze



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Male Character, Trans Peter Parker, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 04:26:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15744267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyrusBreeze/pseuds/CyrusBreeze
Summary: Karen Parker realized that he was a boy when he was two years old. Of course, his parents didn’t understand that he was a boy and whenever Karen insisted that he was a boy, his parents would gently correct him and remind him that he was a girl. After all, girls had vulvas and boys had penises. Karen didn’t understand because hewasa boy, regardless of whether or not he had a penis or a vulva.





	peter.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ididntsignupforthisshit (myhamartia)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhamartia/gifts).



> So, um, Oliver, I know this isn’t _exactly_ what you asked for for your birthday but I hope that you enjoy it! (And yeah, I know, it’s two months late, but I love you!)
> 
> Anyway, this story is inspired by some of the real life stories I heard at the gender infinity conference I attended last October. As with most coming out stories, there are elements of transphobia and gender dysphoria.
> 
> The choice to call Peter by his given name for the majority of the story is a stylistic choice. Mainly because Peter himself has yet to choose a name for himself for the majority of the story. So, he goes by Karen with he/him pronouuns. 
> 
> Content Notes: Unintentional Transphobia, gender dysphoria, use of a given name, references to suicidal ideation of a child. Please tread with caution.

Karen Parker realized that he was a boy when he was two years old. Of course, his parents didn’t understand that he was a boy and whenever Karen insisted that he was a boy, his parents would gently correct him and remind him that he was a girl. After all, girls had vulvas and boys had penises. Karen didn’t understand because he _was_ a boy, regardless of whether or not he had a penis or a vulva. 

Nonetheless, Karen still fought his parents about wearing dresses and skirts and pink and his parents didn’t press the issue. By the time he was four, his parents were calling him a “tomboy,” which was stupid because he wasn’t a “tomboy” he was just a boy. 

-X- 

Karen’s favorite book when he was little was Peter Rabbit. 

He made his mom and Dad read it over and over and over again, until the story of Peter Rabbit finally lulled him to sleep. 

-X-

“Mom,” he called out one day, while his mom was giving him a bath, washing his long, dark brown hair. He liked his hair. It was nice, and some boys had long hair.

“Yes?” His mom responded. 

“When I get bigger will I get a penis so that I can be a boy?” 

His mom stared at him, her mouth ever so slightly open. “You won’t get a penis one day, Karen. You’re a girl,” she finally said with a small smile.

Karen frowned. He was a boy. How could no one else see that he was a boy? 

-X-

His mom read him a chapter from a book every single night. It started as a tradition when Karen became a big boy, when he started first grade. 

Right now, they were on the last chapter of Chronicles of Narnia. Karen’s favorite character was Peter. Peter was a brave knight and he was an even braver King. He was strong and valiant and everything Karen wished that he could grow up to be. 

When his mom asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, Karen answered, “King Peter.” 

-X-

Ned was Karen’s best friend. They were always playing together, and Karen loved having playdates with him. Plus, Ned’s moms were super, super nice. 

“Ned, do you think I’m a boy?” Karen asked him one day while they were playing legos on the floor. 

“I thought you were a girl,” Ned said, looking confused. 

“I’m a boy,” Karen said with a huff. 

“Oh. Okay,” Ned agreed. Why couldn’t _everyone_ understand like Ned did? 

His friends at school understood too. They still called him Karen, but they knew that he was a boy and not a girl, even if Karen’s teacher didn’t. 

It was good, to be called a boy during recess and during after school time, but Karen wanted to be known as a boy to _everyone_. 

-X-

“You know,” Karen turned to his dad while they were eating breakfast one day. “I hope that when I die God will give me a penis so that I can be a boy.” 

His dad turned around to face him, shocked. “What did you say, Karen?” He asked. 

Karen shrugged. “When I die, God is gonna give me the right body. Then I’ll be able to have a penis like I’m supposed to.” He reiterated. 

“You’re not gonna die for a very long time,” his dad said, patting Karen’s head. 

Karen shrugged again. “I hope I die soon,” he said. “So that God can make me into a boy, like I’m supposed to be.” 

“You shouldn’t say things like that, Karen,” Dad said sharply. “Death is very serious, and it’s _forever_.” 

Karen nodded his head. “I don’t really wanna die,” he explained. “But death is the only way that I will get to be a boy.” 

Karen’s Dad smiled softly at him. “I don’t want to hear you talking about dying again, okay?” He said. “I want you to live a long and happy life.”

Karen nodded and smiled at his dad. His life would be happier if his parents realized he was a boy. 

-X-

“Why do you think that everyone else thinks I’m a girl?” Karen asked his best friend. They were playing Legos again. 

Ned put his hand on his chin. “Maybe it’s because you have long hair,” Ned said thoughtfully. “Some boys have long hair, and that’s okay, but sometimes it makes people think they’re girls. Maybe if you cut it, everyone would realize that you were a boy.” 

Karen ran a hand through his hair. He liked his hair, but if cutting it would make people realize that he was a boy and not a girl, then he would cut his hair. 

“We should do it right now,” Karen said sharply. 

“Now?” Ned stared at him. “I think my moms would be upset if we cut your hair without asking your parents.” 

“It’ll be a surprise!” Karen said. “Please, you’re my best friend.” 

“Okay, I’m gonna get my mom’s scissors. I’ll be back!” Ned said, and then he disappeared from the room. 

“Okay,” Ned said when he returned. “I still think that maybe my mama should do it because she cuts my hair and she cuts hair for her job.” 

“C’mon,” Karen said. “You can do it. I really want you to cut my hair.” 

Ned sighed. “Okay,” he agreed. 

Karen sat on Ned’s desk, and Ned carefully brought the scissors to his head. 

“You sure about this?” Ned asked. 

Karen nodded. “I wanna look like a boy.” 

Ned smiled, and then he began to cut. 

-X- 

Ned’s Mom, Leah, dropped the salad bowl she was holding when Karen entered the kitchen. It was plastic, so it clattered to the floor, spilling lettuce across the tile. 

“Karen darling,” Leah said softly. “What happened to your hair?”

Karen grinned. “Ned helped me cut it,” he explained. 

“Edward Isaiah Leeds,” Leah uttered, turning to glare at Ned. 

“It was my fault,” Karen said quickly, trying to defend his friend. “I wanted Ned to cut my hair so that people would think that I was a boy.” 

“Why do you want people to think you’re a boy?” Leah asked. 

“I am a boy,” Karen said, puffing his chest up like he had seen the big boys on the playground do. “I am a boy and not a girl, and I don’t know why people get confused about it.”

“Do your Mom and Dad know that you cut your hair?” 

Karen shook his head. “No, but I think they’ll be surprised and they’ll realize that I’m a boy because I have short hair.” 

Leah looked thoughtful for a moment. “How about we stop and get some McDonald’s and head back to your house?” She suggested. “I want to talk to your parents.” 

“Please don’t let them be mad at me. I just want for them to realize that I’m a boy,” Karen begged. 

“I’ll talk to your Mom and Dad,” Leah said. “But you should never cut your hair without your parent’s permission, you could’ve gotten hurt.” 

“Okay,” Karen said. 

-X- 

They arrived at Karen’s house an hour later. Karen was nervous in fact, he was terrified. His parents were going to see him with short hair for the first time. 

Leah gave Karen a gentle pat on the head.

Karen looked up at Leah. “Do you think my parents will be angry?” He asked. 

Leah smiled softly. “The might be upset that you cut your hair without permission. It’s very dangerous to do something like that alone.” 

Leah knocked on the door. 

Karen’s Mom opened the door a moment later. 

“I thought you guys were coming after dinner,” Mary Parker said. 

“We were,” Leah began. “But we had some issues.” Leah gestured to Karen. 

“Karen!” His Mom yelled, her eyes going wide. “What did you do to your hair?” 

“Ned helped me cut it,” Karen said sheepishly, a blush covering his face. The trio stepped inside the apartment. 

Mary frowned. “Your hair,” she said, and her lip quivered like she was about to start crying.

“It’s okay, mom,” Karen said. “It’s okay for me to have short hair, because I’m a boy now.” 

“Oh sweetheart,” Mary said softly. “You can be a girl and still have short hair.” 

“I’m not a girl!” Karen yelled, feeling his anger and sadness rise again. “I cut my hair so that I can be a boy.” 

“Sweetheart,” Mary continued. “You’re a girl, darling. It’s okay to cut your hair short and like things that boys usually do, but that doesn’t mean that you have to be a boy.” 

Karen stamped his foot. “I’m not a girl; I am a boy!” He yelled. 

Mary sighed, and then turned to Ned’s Mom in exasperation. 

“I wanted to talk to you actually,” Leah spoke up. “Could the kids go in Karen’s room?” 

Mary nodded, and gestured for Karen and Ned to go to Karen’s room. The two boys nodded and then walked down the hallway, Karen still feeling the after effects of his outburst. 

“I wonder what they’re going to talk about,” Ned whispered. 

“Maybe your Mom will help my mom think I’m a boy,” Karen replied. 

“I wish we could hear what they were talking about,” Ned said. 

Karen’s eyes went wide. “We can!” He said cheerfully. 

He grabbed his walker talkie from his desk and put some tape on the button that you pressed to speak. Then, he put the wallow talkie in the back of his RC truck. 

“That’s perfect!” Ned yelled. 

“Shhhhh!” Karen said as he maneuvered the truck down the hallway. 

He peeked out the door until the truck arrived behind the couch. Then, he and Ned climbed to the top of Karen’s bed. 

“I just wanted to talk to you about Karen,” Leah was saying. “I’m really sorry that she cut her hair, by the way. I was making dinner and the kids were playing legos, and they’re usually so well behaved that I didn’t even think to check on them until Karen came out to show me her new hairdo.” 

“It’s fine,” Karen’s Mom responded. She laughed. “It looks absolutely awful. Richard is going to have a cow.” 

“I can have Jordynn fix it up at the shop,” Leah offered. 

“That’d be nice,” Mary said. “I just don’t understand why Karen is so adamant about this wanting to be a boy thing. Richard and I were very careful not to force gender roles on her. I just don’t get why she continues to insist upon it.” 

“Ned told me that Karen is being treated like a boy during recess and after school time by her friends,” Leah said. 

“Why?” Karen’s Mom sounded nervous. “That could be why she thinks she’s a boy. Why didn’t she tell me? She must be sad about it.”

“I like it,” Karen whispered. 

“She’s likes it, according to Ned,” Leah explained. “Apparently she told Ned that she was a boy a year ago, and she’s been slowly telling all of her other friends since then.” 

“I don’t get why she’s going through this phase. I mean, she started when she was two, but it seems like it’s only gotten worse,” Karen’s Mom said, so softly that the walkie talkie barely picked it up. 

“May I offer an opinion?” Leah said.

“Could there be something wrong with her?” Karen’s Mom asked. “Like schizophrenia or something? I mean, I know you work with kids with problems, do you really think that she could have a problem?” 

“I’m not speaking to you as a child psychologist right now, I’m speaking as a parent, and as Jordynn’s wife,” Leah clarified. “I think it’s possible that Karen might be transgender, especially if she’s been insisting for years that she’s a boy. Usually, the duration of time is what separates this from being a phase, and five years is a long time to be consistent and persistent about being a boy.”

“Transgender? How could she know so young?” Mary asked. 

“Jordynn knew when she was three years old,” Leah explained. “She transitioned socially when she turned thirteen. Karen may not be trans, she could just be otherwise gender non conforming, but I think it’s worth it for your family to visit with a therapist, especially if it starts to cause distress.”

“I’ll talk to Richard,” Mary said. “Thank you for addressing your concerns with us. I just thought Karen was different, a lesbian maybe, not that she could possibly be, y’know, transgender. Do you know of any therapists that she could talk to?” 

“I could email you a list of psychotherapists in New York City that Karen could talk to,” Leah offered. 

“I’d like that,” Mary agreed. 

“What do you think this means?” Ned asked, turning to Karen. 

Karen grinned. “I think my mom is going to finally realize I’m a boy.” 

-X- 

Six months later, Karen sat on the floor of the living room, watching Peter Pan with his mom. 

The door to the apartment opened, but Karen didn’t look up. He was too focused on the television. 

He loved Peter Pan. He wanted to be a Lost Boy and he never, ever wanted to grow up. 

Peter Pan was his favorite Disney character. 

“Hey, Karen,” Dad called out. 

Karen paused the television and turned to face his father. 

His dad held up a stack of papers. “I went to the courthouse today.” 

Karen cut him off. “Are you going to jail?” He asked.

Dad chuckled. “No, son. I went to pick up some paperwork so that we can change the gender marker on your birth certificate. But I also grabbed paperwork for if you want to change your name.” 

“Why would I want to change my name?” Karen asked curiously. 

Dad smiled. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I just wanted to see if you wanted to change your name to something that sounded more like a boy.” 

Karen hummed softly. Then, he smiled. 

“You don’t have to decide right now,” Dad said softly. 

Karen turned and faced the television. 

“Peter,” he said. “I want my name to be Peter.”

**Author's Note:**

> What’d you think? Please leave a comment! It’s my first day of sophomore year (of college) so I’m hella stressed and comments will probably make me smile.


End file.
